My Siesta Season of Life

When I moved home a few weeks ago I didn't fully process the decision I was making. All I knew was that I needed to come home. I needed to be with my family and be home with no stress. I needed to come home for my health, for my sanity, and for my relationships. It just needed to happen - and thankfully, it did. I came home, moved all my things back in, caught up on sleep, and spent time relaxing with my family. Soon after settling at home, I realized a position came open at the company I worked at all through high school, so I applied and hoped for the best. My health issues cleared up almost instantly as they were a result of the stress caused by school and I was experiencing anxiety less and less. I still didn't have all the answers about my future figured out and all of my relationships changed, but I knew I was on the right track.

As I reflected on the days leading up to my move home I questioned why my health, my emotions, and my control spun out of control so fast. I knew it had to be one thing. I knew that God wanted me home and wanted me home immediately. The circumstances surrounding the events of the past two months of my life have made this abundantly clear to me. God's knowledge of me and a plan for my life is something that I no longer doubt. Instead of worrying over what career to choose, whether or not to go back to school, if I got selected for the open position or not, etc. I need to surrender my life to Him.

A few weeks ago I stopped by my grandparents house and it was my Grandpop that reminded me of this. He pointed to the TV and said, "Everything coming out of that boob tube tells us to worry. '8 Things to do to Prepare for Retirement' 'America's Debit is No Longer Ignorable!' 'Don't Forget to Ask Your Doctor if You Would Be Qualified for Treatment' and the list goes on and on. But Christians already have "the secret". Sadly, they choose to listen to the world instead of rejoicing in the Truth. All of the things that are happening to you may seem confusing now, but in ten years when you look back every single thing will make sense. Trust me. All of the decisions that you make on a daily basis are insignificant compared to your willingness to submit to God's timing and trust in God's plan. God has something incredible planned for your life, just trust in Him."

I left my grandparent's house with such peace. And thankfully, I have felt surrounded by that peace ever since. Every once in a while I feel consumed by the weight of the decisions I haven't made or the questions I haven't answered. I called my dad this morning just to help squelch my fears...

I may not have all the answers, but God does.
I may not understand the timing, but God does.
I may not be content with my life, but God has something with my name written all over it.
I may feel like a lost failure, but by trusting and following God I am an obedient child that is never forgotten.

And so with that I will enter into this next phase of my life. The independent struggle is over, the full-time reflecting and resting is coming to a close, and the working and obeying chapter is just beginning.Things will get hard, I will forget to turn to the Lord first, and I will fail - but my savior's arms are always open, welcoming me back. Isn't that something?



I didn't know this post would be so serious when I started typing, but I'm glad I was able to get it all out. It was very therapeutic and will be something I can re-read in times of uncertainty. I am more thankful than ever that I have such supportive, godly, wise parents. They have guided and loved me through everything. Thanks mom and dad - I don't know where I'd be with you :)