She knows me well

She being my mother.
Who spent the weekend in NYC.
And came home yesterday bearing gifts.
Gifts in the form of chocolate baked goods. Gfree baked goods.
Yes, she knows me well.

It was gone in about 5 bites. And it was oh.so.good.
It was the best Monday surprise!
Thanks Mom!!

Three things…

That don’t belong to me. But I wish they did.

1. Essie – Smokin’ Hot

2. A house that over looks a backyard like this

3. This. Dining. Room. Set.

Cherry wood. White leopard velvet upholstery. The intricate wood work on the splat of the chair.
I started drooling when I saw this at the thrift store…
Someday, someday :)

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

My dear dear friend Catherine is having a birthday today.
The big 2-1.

 

Catherine,
You are the most naturally quick-witted person I know, you use the perfect balance of sarcasm and sincerity, and you are always available when I need a friend. I hope you are blessed with another wonderful year to come – including many many more conversations about Kate Middleton’s fashion, our boys of all ages, and the ups and downs of our lives.

Happy Birthday!
Love you Cat.

<3

ps. I apologize in advance for the mom birthday card I bought you. The point of the card totally makes sense. But then I looked at the picture on the front and it’s three women with infants in baby carriers. So don’t read into the picture too much :)

Gallery

Gallery Walls are all.the.rage.
Sometimes I love them. Other times I crave more relaxed simplicity.

Exhibit A

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love both. And good design, in my opinion, incorporates all things with incredible attention to balance. Unless a certain space is designated to make a bold statement by only using one theme, using a contrast of colors, fabrics, shapes, textures, etc. really completes the space. It allows our eyes to move through the space, while allowing them to rest in the proper places. Not too busy, not too boring. I’m sure when I have my own home I’ll not be able to decide on anything, but I hope I’m brave enough to vary different design elements like the two photos above.

In our last house, my mom and I used this picture as inspiration for our powder room.

We never did a full gallery wall, but used some of my mom’s photographs of Yosemite National Park along with an Ansel Adams print to create a very dramatic space. We did however, use the brown, black, and blue color scheme from the magazine photo. Black and white photos, black frames, bronze fixtures, a cream countertop, etc. This photo kept popping into my brain when I knew we were moving and I’d have the opportunity to re-do my bedroom. I love the shapes, sizes, and placement of this gallery wall. I tend to shy away from asymmetric design elements because I prefer the perfection of symmetry, and I’ve always felt this was a good mix.

When my parents gave me the Degas painting for Christmas I thought it would become the focal point of my bedroom gallery wall, but it’s actually too large compared to the scale of the room and would look terrible with surrounding frames. So I’ve turned to Pinterest for some DIY ideas to fill the spaces around my framed pictures.

And this one is my favorite… So fun and clever!!

Hopefully I’ll be able to tackle some of these projects. I’d also love to purchase some original art to hang. If you know of any good artists who sell their work on etsy or other sites – let me know!!
And hopefully I’ll be able to start hanging soon!

Lacking

I really lack the motivation, energy, or desire to do much of anything.
I love to read. I love to crochet. I love to go for walks. I love to sing.
And yet I really don't do any of those things anymore.
A year ago I blamed it on being sick. Then I blamed it on getting better.
And then things seemed to be better. All back to normal.
I changed my diet and felt better than I could ever remember feeling.
And everything just seemed right.

But after the holidays and moving calmed down it was pretty obvious.
I don’t really do anything.
Work. Home. Dinner. TV. Bed. Repeat. Monday through Friday.
I’ve realized this pattern but no part of me has wanted to change it.
I’ve wished it was different but I couldn’t make it different.

I didn’t think it was depression because that felt completely different.
That was dark and lonely and confusing.
I didn’t have a choice in that. It was a maze that had no exit.
This was different.
I had clarity. I was happy. I wasn’t tired.
I felt I had a choice. I just didn’t have the energy to choose it.
So this time I really have nothing to blame it on.

So something had to change.
I’ve felt for a few weeks now that something was changing.
A lot of thinking. A lot of praying. A lot of being still.
Still no answers, but a lot of processing.

I had breakfast with my dad on Saturday and told him that I feel like I have nothing to give right now, nothing to offer. I know God has given me gifts and abilities. I know they’re in here. But I can’t seem to find them. I feel more like I had them. Past tense. Like they are no longer. Or they’re just really lost. Maybe I’m really lost.
It was hard to admit those things. I thought that after I moved home and got better everything would correct itself. I didn’t think I’d be sitting here a year later still feeling a little lost inside my own life. I thought I would have clarity about my future. I thought I would feel great purpose in my future and in my day to day life.

I love my job. I love my family. I love our new house. I love the way I can depend on Mark. I love the things I am learning. I’m happy and, for the most part, am very content.
I just feel a little lost. Some days, a lot lost.

Sunday morning I laid in bed with my coffee and read one of my favorite books. The first book I’ve read since before Thanksgiving. I sang next to Mark in church and just listened to the voices around me. Mark and I went for a walk after church. We didn’t talk very much. Just a comfortable silence and a strong hand holding mine. And today at work I dreamed about all the DIY projects I would do if I had my own home. I spent time talking with my mom after work in the kitchen. And it just hit me.

Change.
And maybe the first steps to finding that clarity and purpose.
Clarity from God and a purpose in what He has for me.

Maybe it was the winter blues getting to me. And the coming of spring cleared things right up. Or maybe the change in seasons is just a great picture of what is going on in my heart. The dormant and dark is once again coming alive in the light.

 

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
John 8:12

Vday Recap

I spent Valentines Day and the day before and the day after eating heart-shaped chocolate cake, watching Adele’s Grammy performance over and over and over, drinking A-Treat Cream soda, and enjoying the sunrise before work each morning.

Oh, she’s just flawless. Unbelievable.

Tomorrow Mark and I are going out on a little love-day-date.
I’ve been waiting for this sushi for months.
<3

Be Mine

Here’s a sweet little playlist to help you feel the love. And a great big kiss from Mark.

Happy Valentines Day!!

Blue Beauty

The other morning I opened my garage door and saw this…

 

It was so still and quiet outside. And everything was blue. The sun was just starting to send some light into the sky and the moon was still bright in the trees. The snow laid perfectly on the tree branches and everything was covered in a blanket of white. It looked like a Christmas card. Powdered sugar everywhere. This is the kind of winter that I love. A few inches here and there. Minor car de-snowing. Minor road caution.
Just beautiful white everywhere.

 

Yes, this is the part of winter I love. Sitting in bed, listening to music and catching up on this past week’s blogs in my jammies and robe, with my coffee. And looking out the window at the pretty snow. And even though neither of my sisters have had a half–day or a 2 Hour delay, we’ve had snow. And it can now be spring :)

The past month…

The Peanut Butter Bomb from KC’s Alley in Ambler. A-MAH-ZING.

Family Bowling Night – Kayla, better known as Napkin.

These two friends.

The “Are you taking my picture?” look.

The CCA Cougars.

The sunrise! I don’t drive to work in the pitch-black dark anymore!!

I love my cheetah socks. And bowling shoes.

Chocolate Cake. White Mocha Frapps. The Holy Bible. Journaling.

World Peace. The theme of Sarah’s chorus concert. And every other NPSD chorus concert.

Sister Date Mondays

Kayla and I are both free on Monday nights because both our significant others have night class at school. Which stinks for them. So we made it date night. Which rocks for us.

(photo from 2009 – we still hang out on the couch – just a different apartment)

And we have been eating good!

The first week we made broccoli cheddar coup which was my request. I cannot fully explain HOW MUCH I love broccoli cheddar soup. Panera’s is my favorite but its not gfree – so we made our own :) And last week we had chicken with yummy potatoes and broccoli.
And of course, she had dessert. Cool whip and strawberries. Yummmy.

 

We make dinner together and talk for hours. About everything. And I love it.

Many friends have told me that my sister and I would become really close once we didn’t live in the same house anymore – and they were right. She is my very best friend and I am so thankful for her. I’m also thankful for Monday nights in her sweet apartment!

Sunday Notes: 2-5-12

I decided recently that I’ve been way too blasé in regards to my church attendance. I walk in as the first song is starting, I sing, I sit, I listen, I leave. And unless the sermon is out of this world and my coffee has kicked in to full potential – I’m really not taking much away from it and into my week. Which is absolutely pathetic. And so backwards.

Worshipping together with other believers is a blessing. Listening to a sermon once a week refocuses my heart and mind in addition to teaching me lessons I need to remind myself of daily. And wasting it is sinful.

I remembered back to a few years ago when I went to church with my sister, her then-boyfriend-now-husband, and his family. His sister always brought her journal along and took notes during the whole sermon. It always struck me as being so mature. It was clear how much her faith mattered to her. I imagined that she would look back over the things she wrote, the things she was praying for, and the things she was learning each morning as she sipped her coffee. I always thought it was such a good idea – and I’m really not sure why I never decided to do it myself. Maybe because no one else at my church does it. Everyone just sits there. It’s alarming if the person next to you has his or her own Bible. Not one on a cell phone or iPad. But a real Bible. (Which is a whole other problem for another person to fix). But following the norm is lame and, in this case, really not beneficial or appropriate.  I didn’t like the pattern I had fallen into, so I got a journal.

And this past Sunday I wrote and wrote and wrote.
I went to church with Mark’s family and his Pastor is amazing. Such a wise man.

Yesterday he read from Luke 17 – the story of the 10 lepers. He focused mainly on thankfulness and shed a lot of light on the cleansing rituals that took place in the temple by the priest once someone claimed to be cured of leprosy – which I had never learned before. It was really cool – the symbolism between the healing process and Christ’s death on the cross. But the most important thing he said was exactly what I needed to hear…

 

“You can thank Him in everything, if not for everything”

 

He said this after sharing a story from his life... He and his wife had just had their first child and were struggling financially. They lived in a small apartment and the landlord graciously replaced the stove when it broke. The only downside was that a family of cockroaches lived in the stove. And the entire apartment became infested. During that time, he went to Mexico to do some relief work (they lived in Southern California) and they stopped at an orphanage before reaching their destination. The two adults that ran the orphanage were both missing for various reasons and the oldest child there, who was a young teenager, was taking care of all the children. He said he walked into a room where a crib had broken and three infants had rolled into the corner. Not one of them had been changed in over two weeks. He said in that moment all he could do was thank God that his baby girl only lived in an apartment infested with cockroaches. She had two parents that loved her, food in her belly, a clean diaper, etc. How true is that? Even when their home was less than welcoming – it was a blessing from God.

Life can be really hard and confusing. Just this past week I said to Mark, “Sometimes it’s really hard to see where Jesus is in all of this.” It’s messy and difficult. And most of the hard stuff makes us question God and beg for change even though we’ve heard that suffering strengthens our faith a hundred times. Sometimes it’s easy to wallow in the bad stuff. Other times the bad stuff just takes us somewhere so dark that the light is easily forgotten.

This week I’m going to do my best to remember: The situation may cause me to grieve but there is something in the situation that God deserves thanks for.

The service closed out with the most beautiful song as a handful of people made their way to the front to surrender their lives to Christ. And it was these words from the song that I’ll continue to echo each day: All my hope is in You, Jesus, Jesus.

Friday Favorites!!

This dress – ASOS

This sweet Valentines Day gift…

Sooo true…

 
This song!!!

Viola Davis – SAG Awards perfection – she was glowing

This *gorgeous* bathroom full of feathers. Love this enough to do it myself someday!

Last but not least…. the one thing I said I’ve never ever want. EVER. Until I met one.
Rosie. She’s a Cavalier Prince Charles Spaniel. And she’s a therapy dog that comes into my work to visit with the residents. And she’s adorable. And I want one. Like yesterday.

Seriously. I could live with this dog. From puppy to old girl. Dog hair, bad breath, and all.
I think I understand how people let their pups sleep in bed with them. Still grosses me out but I get it. I want one. A girl one. I MEAN LOOK AT THE FACE!!!!
 

Happy Friday!!

My Favorite Moving Moments

A look at my house – the last night I spent there…

Found my old trumpet in the closet and Mark decided it was his new talent…

Doing a lot of things in the dark because we had no lights in the new house during the moving process. And Dad rocked out his mini flash light!!!

Not having any idea what to do with my life-size Edward Cullen. He’s guarded my closet and the underside of my bed since graduation :)

This guy.

Major bruising on my legs hahaha – TMI?? Maybe. But this one killed.

Sibling love in a house with no furniture…

PAINT SWATCHES = happiness (Thin Ice was the winner)

The full moon on my last drive from the old house to the new house for a load-drop-off

And listening to my Dad play the piano for the first time in the new house

Today is the day You have made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. I won’t worry about tomorrow. I’m trusting in what You say. Today is the day.