She knows me well

She being my mother.
Who spent the weekend in NYC.
And came home yesterday bearing gifts.
Gifts in the form of chocolate baked goods. Gfree baked goods.
Yes, she knows me well.

It was gone in about 5 bites. And it was oh.so.good.
It was the best Monday surprise!
Thanks Mom!!

Three things…

That don’t belong to me. But I wish they did.

1. Essie – Smokin’ Hot

2. A house that over looks a backyard like this

3. This. Dining. Room. Set.

Cherry wood. White leopard velvet upholstery. The intricate wood work on the splat of the chair.
I started drooling when I saw this at the thrift store…
Someday, someday :)

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

My dear dear friend Catherine is having a birthday today.
The big 2-1.

 

Catherine,
You are the most naturally quick-witted person I know, you use the perfect balance of sarcasm and sincerity, and you are always available when I need a friend. I hope you are blessed with another wonderful year to come – including many many more conversations about Kate Middleton’s fashion, our boys of all ages, and the ups and downs of our lives.

Happy Birthday!
Love you Cat.

<3

ps. I apologize in advance for the mom birthday card I bought you. The point of the card totally makes sense. But then I looked at the picture on the front and it’s three women with infants in baby carriers. So don’t read into the picture too much :)

Gallery

Gallery Walls are all.the.rage.
Sometimes I love them. Other times I crave more relaxed simplicity.

Exhibit A

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love both. And good design, in my opinion, incorporates all things with incredible attention to balance. Unless a certain space is designated to make a bold statement by only using one theme, using a contrast of colors, fabrics, shapes, textures, etc. really completes the space. It allows our eyes to move through the space, while allowing them to rest in the proper places. Not too busy, not too boring. I’m sure when I have my own home I’ll not be able to decide on anything, but I hope I’m brave enough to vary different design elements like the two photos above.

In our last house, my mom and I used this picture as inspiration for our powder room.

We never did a full gallery wall, but used some of my mom’s photographs of Yosemite National Park along with an Ansel Adams print to create a very dramatic space. We did however, use the brown, black, and blue color scheme from the magazine photo. Black and white photos, black frames, bronze fixtures, a cream countertop, etc. This photo kept popping into my brain when I knew we were moving and I’d have the opportunity to re-do my bedroom. I love the shapes, sizes, and placement of this gallery wall. I tend to shy away from asymmetric design elements because I prefer the perfection of symmetry, and I’ve always felt this was a good mix.

When my parents gave me the Degas painting for Christmas I thought it would become the focal point of my bedroom gallery wall, but it’s actually too large compared to the scale of the room and would look terrible with surrounding frames. So I’ve turned to Pinterest for some DIY ideas to fill the spaces around my framed pictures.

And this one is my favorite… So fun and clever!!

Hopefully I’ll be able to tackle some of these projects. I’d also love to purchase some original art to hang. If you know of any good artists who sell their work on etsy or other sites – let me know!!
And hopefully I’ll be able to start hanging soon!

Lacking

I really lack the motivation, energy, or desire to do much of anything.
I love to read. I love to crochet. I love to go for walks. I love to sing.
And yet I really don't do any of those things anymore.
A year ago I blamed it on being sick. Then I blamed it on getting better.
And then things seemed to be better. All back to normal.
I changed my diet and felt better than I could ever remember feeling.
And everything just seemed right.

But after the holidays and moving calmed down it was pretty obvious.
I don’t really do anything.
Work. Home. Dinner. TV. Bed. Repeat. Monday through Friday.
I’ve realized this pattern but no part of me has wanted to change it.
I’ve wished it was different but I couldn’t make it different.

I didn’t think it was depression because that felt completely different.
That was dark and lonely and confusing.
I didn’t have a choice in that. It was a maze that had no exit.
This was different.
I had clarity. I was happy. I wasn’t tired.
I felt I had a choice. I just didn’t have the energy to choose it.
So this time I really have nothing to blame it on.

So something had to change.
I’ve felt for a few weeks now that something was changing.
A lot of thinking. A lot of praying. A lot of being still.
Still no answers, but a lot of processing.

I had breakfast with my dad on Saturday and told him that I feel like I have nothing to give right now, nothing to offer. I know God has given me gifts and abilities. I know they’re in here. But I can’t seem to find them. I feel more like I had them. Past tense. Like they are no longer. Or they’re just really lost. Maybe I’m really lost.
It was hard to admit those things. I thought that after I moved home and got better everything would correct itself. I didn’t think I’d be sitting here a year later still feeling a little lost inside my own life. I thought I would have clarity about my future. I thought I would feel great purpose in my future and in my day to day life.

I love my job. I love my family. I love our new house. I love the way I can depend on Mark. I love the things I am learning. I’m happy and, for the most part, am very content.
I just feel a little lost. Some days, a lot lost.

Sunday morning I laid in bed with my coffee and read one of my favorite books. The first book I’ve read since before Thanksgiving. I sang next to Mark in church and just listened to the voices around me. Mark and I went for a walk after church. We didn’t talk very much. Just a comfortable silence and a strong hand holding mine. And today at work I dreamed about all the DIY projects I would do if I had my own home. I spent time talking with my mom after work in the kitchen. And it just hit me.

Change.
And maybe the first steps to finding that clarity and purpose.
Clarity from God and a purpose in what He has for me.

Maybe it was the winter blues getting to me. And the coming of spring cleared things right up. Or maybe the change in seasons is just a great picture of what is going on in my heart. The dormant and dark is once again coming alive in the light.

 

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
John 8:12

Vday Recap

I spent Valentines Day and the day before and the day after eating heart-shaped chocolate cake, watching Adele’s Grammy performance over and over and over, drinking A-Treat Cream soda, and enjoying the sunrise before work each morning.

Oh, she’s just flawless. Unbelievable.

Tomorrow Mark and I are going out on a little love-day-date.
I’ve been waiting for this sushi for months.
<3

Be Mine

Here’s a sweet little playlist to help you feel the love. And a great big kiss from Mark.

Happy Valentines Day!!